Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Mixture
Today makes me feels as though I'm in a mixture of feelings.Dad turned fourty six when the clock striked midnight hours ago. My good 'ol man and good 'ol mother faced a small accident yesterday which was freaky. But nevertheless, they both recieved help from a friendly and helpful indian fella on the road. My mum was so shaken by the accident that she started crying seeing dad's blooding leg. That F1 wanna-be rider was in a daze when everything happend, but syukur alhamdulilah, both of 'em are fine.
My prayers are always with you dad. Always. I shant say more 'cause what have been exchanged face to face with you, is much more apperciated, no ? Just remember how fucked up or naughty we girls are, we still love you. Beside, who else would want to irritate you during your sleep if it's not us, yea ? Love you dad, we love you.
***
" It seems to me you mean it. Do you really want this break ?''
'' Yea. I cant take it anymore.''
'' I'm really sorry. But you're different.''
'' We need time to adapt to each other. But I've told you time again , you just wont listen. "
"I'm sorry."
" It's so hard to get through you. It's hard to get into you.''
Somethings can never change. And it breaks my heart hearing all these conversation been exchanged between us. I was hurt real bad and I can't take it anymore. It sounds weird but my heart and love grows stronger for you now but you're too thick to get through. I'm tired of saying the same thing. I'm tired of explaining myself over and over again. I'm tired of being judged wrongly. I'm just too tired to show how much you mean to me.
It hurts real bad when someone you love just dont have faith and just dont believe in you. I know how it feels when the whole world turns against you , that's why I've always been there. I've always believed in you. Having all my faith on you. But when it comes to me, who else do I want to believe in me if it's not you ? Whose faith do I need now if it's not yours ?
I dont ask for money.
For giving me all the materials.
For giving me all the luxuries.
I dont ask for all of that.
But all I'm asking for is believe me. Have faith in me and listen to me.
If that's hard , I'll take my leave. 'Cause I cant live like that.
