Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Sometimes...

Sometimes it just sucks to be in my current situation. I think too much sometimes. But the rest of the time, I dont do too much thinking unless the nature calls for it.

I don't know what I did to deserve this shit but somehow I'm in this shit. People judge toooo bloody fast. Be it friends or otherwise. What really hurts me the most is when ''friends'' judge us. Sad, no ? They did what they did without even asking the other party what's really up. You may say this world is judgmental. That's where you're wrong. One, no one is LIKE you. Two, no one is YOU. Three, not everyone in the whole damn world IS you. So the world is not judgemental, it's YOU.

I mixed with lots of people. Ex convict, models, photographers, minah, mat, gangster,mak andam, accountants. Whoever, whatever. I've tasted a few bits of almost everything. Sometimes, I dont like what I see in the other party. The smokes. The drinks. The tattos. The piercing. The swearing. The cursing. The whatever.

But somehow someone said to me, '' Life's not prefect itself, why do you even want to judge somone when your life isnt perfect Najihah? '' That really took me off guard. It really did. But back then I dont understand.

Along the way I made couple of worthy friends that hardly judge. I asked myself sometimes, how the heck someone can not judge another human ? What? Are they faking it ? Or are they really not judgemental,somehow ? Then one day, that one fine day when I suddenly had enough of people judging my move and doings and I knew then that if I dont start with me, who will ? That's when I've come to understand.

So I make a better world for myself. I told myself countless time to not judge anyone so quick. And I'm seeing myself getting more relax and less frustrated with the world. Suddenly I realize how easy it is to move about with just a piece of a mind. Im not saying I'm all holy or angelic or pious.

No, but at least now I know myself that I'm capable to be less egostical and less judgemental. At least now I know, I can be better person. This is a self improvement and self experiement experience. Very glad that I took up this chance to change myself in few aspects.

You know, sometimes I just wish some people just shut their gap before they pass judgements on ITE students.
Sometimes I just wish some people will just look at themselves in the mirror.
Sometimes I just wish people will be abit more supportive of each other.
Sometimes I just wish I could shoot people who are judgemental.
And sometimes I just wish I could really slap anyone who's judgemental AND not wanting to hear someone else's explaination.

Like how we always put it, some people just think they're big fuck.

It always gets to me you know. Being misjudged wrongly. I kept defending my pride and position. But it has already comes to a point when I had enough shit and for that, you'll be gone - literally.

So suck it up and leave.