Feelin's
I really need to have life right now. But I'm thankful it's begininin' to show.So Ian decided to organize class chalet somewhere in March.
And I've big family chalet comin' this April.
So, I guess in between things I've to find stuff to do.
Anyways, I've yet to upload pictures of the night out with Lydia and Sheila( and Ryan, that cute little Pumpkin!) It was pretty much an impromptu short met up. I felt really out of place that day 'cause they were talkin' bout marriage life and babies. Experiences one of 'em went through. The shitholes she faced with her in laws and stuff like that. But she's puttin' up a strong front , thank Lord for that. And I'm really glad I've come to know her personally. We beginin' to click well! Another lady up on my list of babes!
Us with Ryan. Concindentally, both Ryan and myself worn the brown that day. When I helped to push the pram, people thought I was the mum.
Right. Err... Heh.
The sexy momma.
Mum to be ? Yap. In the future, that is.
This was past Ryan's sleepin' time. I dont even know how the Pumpkin's able to stay awake. 
Just look at the cute fella. He smiled for the camera. He's sucha a friendly and adorable kid.
:) Adorable these two. Heh heh.
Alrite. So I had some sister bonding time. I went out with the sister for some eyes washin' and get her cravings for some stuff. We had tons of fun. However, when I laid my eyes on Manu Cafe over in Boat Quay, hell I swear I could just grab any lighter and set that place on fire. She was excited, of course. She even wanted to join in the angmohs for some drinks ! But clearly she didnt pass the age limit. I heard her makin' her vow to at least be in the crowd when Manu has future game. Hell, I dont understand why she's crazy over that team. Not only that, both Nani and myself had some bondin' elder sister time with that little kid. She has been missin' out alot lately. What more with me being asleep throughout her free time and only wakes up close to the evening in which the mum's home- with that she tends to spend her time more with the parents. So we decided to go crazy with our camera and just keep on flashin'. I think makin' of faces run in our bloood. Even the little kid knows how to do it. Boy, what a kid.
My joy and pain. ( More of a pain in the arse. But that will do. I've the lifetime to grow use to the pain they give. Hahaha)
Ina laughed when she saw this picture being uploaded in the computer. I know why. Must be the babi part comes true. ( Sorry ah Nani, aku lup sama kau ok ? Heh!)
We were actually wearin' our night dresses. Each with an imprint of Poohs all over our dresses. Hahahaha.
What.was.I.thinkin'? -.-''
:) I love you.
I seriously thought Ina was in the picture. She was makin' this cute adorable face ( which I forget what it was but I know it's adorable ). But I love this. Fucken candid.
I loooked as though I've no eyes. It seems hollow there. Omg.
I guess I was the one that doesnt understand the meanin' of proper picture. Heh.
At the end of the day, no matter how shitty life or the sisters can get. Nothin' beats sisterly love. ( Includin' Sabrina's love ) 'Cause we're sisters, we stand together for life
***Right. Today ( Friday the twenth ) I was awaken by Mm's not wanted and not needed phone call. Which I deliberately didnt pick up and touched 'Mute Ring' censor. Half of me didnt want to text him but half of me did want to. I asked myself if I should meet the gang today. Since my class is cancel today and I'll not be meetin' the GyLeRs, I said, why not , no ? So I texted him with a '' Ya ?'' and he replied with a '' No.'' Sungguh not funny Mm! So anyways, we exchanged couple of text messages till Kat texted me with a bloody shockin' news.
Note : I'll be meetin' the gang at four thirty this evening and I recieved Mm's phone call say bout eleven odd. We fixed the timin' by few mintues to noon. So me being me, I can totally sleep again and wake up say at four or three fifty. But as I'm typin' this it's close to two thirty in the afternoon. What a time to wake up and blog this shit , no ?
But I tried to sleep! I even played my Solitaire to make me go all sleepy and shit. But hell, what Kat texted me clearly shook my ass off and that explains why I could sleep till now. ( And I'm yawnin' already ! MAN! What a way to start the damn TGIF day. Damn it.)
She said she had the weirdest dream ever ( I quote ). She dreamt that Feer died! Can you believe how big both of my eyes got. And how fucken shocked I was? Instantly my heart beat damn fast. It was damn fast that I thought my ribs will broke into two! The way the dreamt was hell scary nak mampos ! I was so scared , bout both the dream and the thought of losin' that big 'ol Feer was too much for a girl who just woke up from her damn sleep and a not to mention someone who has faint heart since birth! Both Kat and I had tears in our eyes.For all i know, tears started to roll down. And as quickly my body can adapt , I recite few Doas. For her it was surreal. She immediatly woke up from her sleep with a beatin' heart. Hell, it was surreal for me too! I know it's inevitable but I dare not go through what I went through two years ago ( Ya Allah, it has been two years since he left ? Ya allah. ).
Certainly, what a way to start my day. People said if anyone dreamt the dream that Kat had, it means the person who's dead in the dream , will have a longer life span. It better be! ( Insyah allah, Amin.) It was sucha a short scary period of time I dare not sleep back. Now I'm as awake as an owl at night but still tired.
Fuhooo. Shake it out Najihah shake it out. *shakes her head and hands*
***
( Please take note that this is MY personal views on the situation I am in. It may not be you , it may be you. But as long as I'm still fine with everythin' , I guess the people I am talking and chattin' with has to figure out the wrong stuff bout 'em , 'cause it's not only me who faces this shit with you/he/she. So hold your backfirin' thoughts and hear me out. I really need to get this off my damn chest. So with all due respect to people that reads my blog, sorry if it hurts you or whatever.)
On top of all the feelin's I've had experienced and still am feelin', I've this irritation feelin's. The feelin' of not talkin' to someone and just want to shut them out feelin'. It's weird, really. 'Cause deep down I know I shouldnt do that. Not to all but to some. Is it just me or if the problem is actually lies on themselves. I did talk to Kat bout this and I guess she did ligthen some of my burden thoughs ( she always does and I'm grateful for that - Thanks ! ).
I don't know if I should attend to the problem or just shut it out and try my very best to make things back to normal. Believe me, this problem is gettin' out of hand but it is a problem that everyone should just keep mum. 'Cause the person that is in it is well, pretty hard to handle. I dont wish to disclose it just yet. If I find it way just way over the shit I can handle, I just might burst it right here, ya know ? And I know it'll be ugly. 'Cause hell, once I start I'll never stop.
I just feel that that person is makin' a fool and a mockery out of me ( you people might say that it's all the more I should attend to it but it's complicated like that ). And I certainly feel that that person really though I'm one damn big fool that he/she can play around with. I don't know, that's just what I thought. I know I'm being judgemental but hell , it bugs me ya know. Especially that unfaithful phone call he/she made that night. It really ticks me off real bad till now. And the stories he/she told me. The way he/she bragged bout simply everythin'. He/she's way out of hand for me.
Ever since last couple of months , he/she has been close to be way over the top. I find it hard to really find he/she-self again. 'Cause he/she seems in much denial and pain ( ?). I don't know man. But what I know I'm not jealous or whatsoever with this particular being. And I'm not actin' this way towards others but except this he/she person.
Dont crank my style.
Find yourself in you and not in me.
Come touch down in this land again and dont be too bigheaded.
Just simply dont follow suit on whatever I wear or whatevershit that's bout me.
It simply ticks me off.
Again, sorry if kau orang terasa or whatever. UNLESS I tell you personally this is all bout you, better hold your fingers before backfirin' me.
***
... fated ? I dont bloody think so
