Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Finally, it's all over. For my side of the story at least. Don't know bout your side. Oh well, life move on babyyyyy ! DNT sucksxsxssxsxxsszszszszsz =(((
... i hate deadlines
//edited piece//
I just got back from meetin' Big Din actually. He texted whilst I blogged just now. Therefore, here I am , again. I've got to agree with my dearest Jananannana. Last week and this week was and still is , sucky much. I just got myself into a huge argument that I swear I could have break my monitor. I learnt alot bout myself whilst the argument still on. I could be on your throat upon you pickin' up your call from me and I'll tone down a bit right after I jump on your throat. Believe me, I hate that part of me. I just hate how I can just let loose to the anger that's in me. I should have known better that a winner should always be calm and cool. Well, drastic measures for drastic circumstances. Let I've said, my side of the story is done.
All I want you to know is Ira, for me to like or dislike Malayu guys , for me to adore and not adore angmoh is totally of my own principles. I dislike those typical Malayu people who just wanna screw women. I detest those typical Malayu people who just love to be well, typical. I believe we all are entitled to have our own views to be spoken, yes ? Therefore, it really hurts to read that you asked me to have see my own reflection in the mirror with regards of me preferrin' angmoh than Malayu guys ; in relationship wise. But nonetheless, with regards to what we've talked bout, with all due respect , I do not want to create another hectic moments. I respect your views , and you should as well respect mine. Like I've said, you've my word in what I've promised you.
That's aside.
I felt bad through yesterday. My guts told me to carry my mobile everywhere I go this week but I went against my guts yesterday. Bestie Eedah's dad passed away yesterday. Ya allah. I felt vulnerable and useless. She texted me close to noon and I read the text message only three in the afternoon. I couldnt be there when she needed me most. I certainly can't be there like how she be there for me ; holdin' me tight in her arms , huggin' me, when I lost my best buddy last year. I just can't be how she was to me last year. And I felt useless for not been there for her.
Losin' a dad is like losin' a limp or a leg or a hang perhaps. Or even worse. I could never fathom how I would be like if I were to lost one of my parents. Or even my grandmama. I just could not get my finger into that situation. I'm not a strong person naturally, therefore, I doubt I could even stand.
Insyah allah, with God's willin', I'll be there for her come weekend. Oh God, allow her to pull through this period of time with the strong heart that you gave her. Guide her along in the betterment of herself and her devastated mum. Oh Allah, to you only we pray and to you only we seek help from. Amin.
Do pray for my bestie's late dad and with God's willin', your kindness will be repaid.
Al-Fatehah.
Be strong my love, be strong. I'm always here, always.
