Thursday, August 30, 2007
You know , after four year of knowin' 'em. I felt as though the world came to a stop and face their backs on me. Just when I thought I knew 'em all. I finally realize, I don't. Four years is no short period of time. Calculatin' the number of days/hours been spent with 'em could not be compare to the amount of time I spent with my GyLeR InC. nor with Baybeee or Bebeh or Eedah or Cicak or Abang or Nad or Ain or whoever else. How come I felt as though, these people whom I spent regular days with for the last four years felt so stranger and colder then those people whom I spent weekends with for barely ten hours ? How could it be that way ? How could with those people I felt like a family, like a true fren, like a true frenship been establish? How amazin' the world is. I am doin' alrite. Not frustrated nor downhearted. I felt as though, everythang is alrite. It wonder me sumtimes, what does Ralvin, Ian and Shakinah thinks? It takes no genius to notice what is damned wrong between 'em. We jolly well know what is goin' on. We each gave each other cold shoulder. No wait, it is 'em who gave me cold shoulder and that damned stare which they jolly well know I know how to read it.
Everytime I'm around 'em, it felt as though I would wanna confront each one of 'em and talked thangs out. However, I know they are not people who love to be confronted nor doin' the job of confrontin'. They are people who loves to pretend that the air is cool and calm as though they are not givin' me those damned cold shoulder. Again, people, pls. No one is borne stupid nor idiot alrite ?
If this is what ya'll want, bitchin' behind backs, cold shoulders and not confrontin'. So be it. I will be here, respectin' each and every one of your ways. If you think, you wanna talk, then talk, if not, don't. So much so of me tryin' to talk ya'll gave me that damned cold shoulder. I shall not be angry cause I am not. I shall not be sad. Why ? Due to the fact that I do not see the reason why. I treat every frenship that establish with sincere and honest heart. However, if this is how the way it goes, after four years, then I shall stop.
I am just too tired to even save. Whatever you people want it to be, I shall just see and stare. I am not controllin' my temper, cause there is no temper. I am not spoutin' vulgarities cause there is no urge of me on doin' so. I grew numb with you people. You lose some, you gain some. And alhamdulilah, I am gainin' much more then I expected.
I am discoverin' new and fresh frenship be it from my old or new frens. I have learnt my lesson through painful way. As far as I do not wanna us all to be this way, I believe, it is already goin' that way. The way of seperation ? I should say, the way of ignorin'. I prayed my night and afternoon away, and I guess it has already been answer.
I prayed for long lastin' frenship no matter what happened between any of my fren and me. And I have seen the answer. I still have my lovely pretty Eedah despite of us havin' arguments here and there. We are still as lovely and as crazy and as loud as ever. We continued where we left. We appologies to each other due to the wrong doin's. We gals learned our lesson and we both recover from there. We accept each other as it is. And I just love the way my babe is. She's one true found fren.
I still have aDeQ, Kat, Feer, Faizul, Naz, Ain, Chombie, Nad, eQaH, Din, Firdaus, LC and the list goes on. I have 'em to keep my life as colourful as ever. I know, somehow or rather, those frenship that I left behind, I will pick it up again and learn from my mistake and repent. I shall mend every frenship. Frenship that long lost contact. Rite eQaH ? *wink*
I have a long life ahead, and I believe, in this life of mine, I bound to know and make new frenship with whoever. I have yet to see the world literally. And I shall wait for that day when I make frens. And I could never wait to see how are the frens that I will stick with till my old age. I do pray for a better life and I do pray for my fren's better life. Believe me when I say, I have ya'll in my prayers.
... ♥wĘп†wØrЃҢ щїЏзґґ
