Monday, August 27, 2007
Tonight marks one of the special night in Islamic Calender. Tonight commences nisfu shabaan. I asked my granny what's special bout tonight ? What's so special till Allah will answer all HIS followers prayers. And granny said it was the night for Angels. Malam Hari Raya buat malaikat. Special indeed !I prayed durin' Subuh after I ate my last meal before the Sun goes down. Yea, I'm fastin' today. And today was kinda tirin' and sleepy. The day went on pretty much slow for me. I was pratically holdin' onto my head. May be due to the fact that it has been quite sumtime since I last fast durin' my schoolin' day. My head feels heavy. But, I must keep on fastin'. Remember when I said I wanna be a better one ? This is part of my journey to repent and bring myself closer to Allah. Yes, and I believe, I shall suffer a minor heavy head to get myself use to the habit of fastin'. Insyah allah, I shall fast again tomorrow.
It is not that I have never fast durin' my schoolin' days. Today was an extreamly tirin' for me. Due to the fact that I slept close to one am last night and woke up at four thirty in the mornin' for my sahur. And since then, I did not catch any sleep as I was waitin' for my call to do my mornin' prayer and awaitin' for school time. I was just too afraid I could not wake up right after I had my sahur. I reckon, it should be the cause of lack of sleep that my head feel soo darn heavy.
Hence, I shall pass on my granny's advice..
Nyayi: Berdoa lah selepas solat malam nanti. Insyah allah, dapat pahala kalau Akak puasa dan berdoa malam ni. Dekatkan diri dengan Allah.
Which simply means, pray after I do my night prayers. And if God willin', I would be bless if I pray and do my fast. I should bring myself closer to Allah.
And I love my granny for motivatin' me with her talk and advice to guide me throught my rough path in live. How do I live without you Nyayi ?
That aside, school was monotonous for me. Interclass debatin' was not a gratifyin' to me. They should be doin' better then that. Due to the fact that our previous badges as set a high standard of persuasive tone and speeches. I lovelovelove debatin'. I won Best speaker once. Why once ? Cause it was the only time I was given the opportunity to debate. Been in the Normal Academic stream does not offer good opportunities for people like me, to excel.
Not only me. Couple of my frens are good in debatin' and bringin' across their personal point of view. They are very much capable to spark any issues under the sun. It was the Express kiddos that been selected to represent my school for the debatin' competition. Where does the Normal Academic students been place too ? Those Normal Technical students were given the opportunity to do their favourite modules over in ITE. They could pick any modules that they wanna excel and wish to take up after their N level. And I must say, they excel in each and every prospect that they choose. Be it the Secondary Three or Secondary Four NT students, those kiddos were given fair opportunities to excel in their choosen fields.
If the express was given the opportunity to represnt debatin' competiton and NT students excel in their hot personal fields, where does the Normal Academic student goes too then? NT students went over to ITE for talks, seminars, courses. Express student went to Poly visit, seminar, talks. How bout the NA then ? Heck, Express students are suppose to pay the JC for a visit. Tell me then, where does NA stand- for my school that is , ?
How irony when they says they want each one of us to excel in our own personal choosen fields. IRONY indeed. With these matter on my head, it really burden me even more. I shall not bother. May be my time will come sooner or later in the future. I just want the fair share in this game.
That aside, again. Mr Clark asked me how do I get so close with dad ? He is expectin' his new baby gal at the end of the year. He was all smiles and grinnin' like small kiddo when he told me bout it. He even ask me to find Malayu-English name for his daughter ! I am just soo excited for him. He's afraid if his daughter would turn to be those wild ladies that does not wish to be seen kissed on the cheek by their fathers. And he's afraid if any guy would do any unwanted harm to his daughter.
Certain mornin' when dad sent me off to school, Mr Clark would caught both of us laughin' or even doin' sum last mintue chat on or off the bike. I would kiss dad's hand and dad would plant a kiss on my forehead. You see, I will always do that whenever I wanna part from both my mum and dad. No matter where I am or whoever I with, those little affection would always remain. Cause my family believe that, through those gestures and sign of love and affection, our bondin' shall not break.
We would do those gestures no matter where we are or who are we with. I am not least embrass by their way of showin' their love and care for me. I am proud and happy that both my sisters and I feel the love from my parents. Some teenagers would be disgusted when they saw my parents plant kisses on my forehead or cheek. They would ask if I am embrass by doin' that. I was taken wayyyyyyy back fella. Hell yea I did.
How could you be embrass and ashame by your own blood and meat you tell me ? Ehk, sensitive issue. But really, for those you fella you happen to ask me that question, ask yourself this.. After soo much love , patience and care that was given to you ever since you made your first cries. After so much affection , attention and sarcrifice, you wanna be embrass and shy by that tiny weey gesture with your loveable parents ?
I told Mr Clark what my dad always said whenever he tried to be reasonable, and he did. '' Be rational and be sensible and scold your daughther when she is in wrong. Do not hestitae to rise your voice. Let her think through her mistake and realise where you are goin'. After both of you cool down, hug and kiss her on the forehead and tell her why you rise you voice. Show her the love everyday and everytime. To be kind is to be cruel sir. And do find similar likin' between you and your daughter when she's born. Do the activties that both of you like and develop bondin' from there.''
And that is what dad and mum do. I found my favourite hobbies and likin' within' 'em. Be it shoppin' , marvellin' bikes, travellin', readin', sports, dancin', enjoyin' with frens, visin' and creatin' stronger bonds with relatives and what's not. And simply put, I have found my two best fren in the WHOLEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee WIDEeeeeeeeeee Worrrrlddddddddddd. And I do not regret to any degree. Will never !
... sumtime in life, you just got to be kiddy-ish.
