Saturday, August 18, 2007
No excuse of me been away for couple of days. I did not wish to blog nor to chat as long as I did before. The passion for bloggin' and chattin' evaporated due to the fact that I just have to have my good rest. And I guess I am not even halfway up the ladder. I guess, I still could not stop myself from been a nature worrier. I may be a warrior but I am much more a worrier. Borne with it. Been dyin' to get it out off me ever since I notice the change of personallity that I imbued on my own. The change of apporachin' and talkin' to my kakis has not really affect me that much. It was much more then just not talkin'. It was the silence that kept me at ease. It really does. We are not talkin'. Akinso and I, no, we are not. And I partly glad we didn't. I told mummy all bout it. I was boilin' with anger the moment I finished the storyline. Boy, I could make a million if I ever make a movie outta it. It would entitled, The Betrayal in Frenship. Amazin' don't you think ? How these people back out from their words ? Jeez. May their future bring good peace and harmony and bring the suitable frens to suit with their cup of tea. I skipped my celebrations with the people today. They held it over at Akinso's. And you expect me to travel to her house with the cold shoulder thangy lingerin' around ? No way. I guessed, I would just wish Ian next week. Sorry Ian, I really wished I could be there. And Ralvin', Happy belated Besday pal. I reckon I was the first to wish you, ja ?
I did not even switch on my computer for more then three hours these days. I did not really chat much matter of fact. May be due to the fact that I restraint myself from chattin'. My status was Online, yes, but I did not gave my fullest attention to certain conversation though. I did had a long talk with Kat couple of nights back. So does I have with Nad. They were these people that I looked for when I'm online.Includin' aDeQ, just that she was online when I was at the peak of readin' my book. - And for couple of reason I did not really have much talkin' with these ladies as well. I was couple of pages from completetin' The Rising Tide when aDeQ engaged Msn Conversation with me. I had to offline to give my fullest attention to my readin'. It was when the world war 2 was bout to end. With Generals slappin' and cursin' their recurit when they cried terribly on the hospital bed, commandors tryin' to bring the best outta their men, when Sarge Adams had to leave his parachute team behind and leave for England for better and higher responsiblity and with Hitler been in all fantasy with the victory that he though he had in which clearly belonged to the Allied. Rising Tide is a good book, and credits to the author. No wonder the good praises at the back page of it all.
I flunk my prelims with A subject of C5. I passed my damned English only. Hell yea. Believe it or not. I passed my English with a damned C5 and I flunk the other subjects. That was how badly I need a damned break from all this damned examinations and expectations. I broke down when I know of my result. Tracy heard it and she was there all along. Ian was there too. Msn conversations and phone calls do a bit of peace though.
Everythang falls apart don't they ? I remembered clearly how much I obtained last year. I was the top 30 percent that managed a seat for Skippin' my N level. I was so hard workin' back then. I was problem free. I was happy. I was like the cheerful and carefree loud lady in the corridor. When you turned a corner, you could see me talkin' and gigglin' around with my frens. Jumpin' up and down with excitment and huge grin spread out equally across my face, with notes on one hand and books on the other, with my favourite all time novel- To The Last Man by the Same author for The Rising Tide, comin' to school with a smile and finishes school with the joke of the day, dancin' Folk dancin' happily, and dancin' for the Best Dancer Award. I was indeed a true free lady back then.
I do not know what happened this year that I dropped dramatically. Dramatic! Indeed. I just need a break. I am dyin' to end school and go for a long holiday. I need to set my mind right again and just focus on what I lovelovelove doin'- Enjoy, Read , Study. I wanna be a geek in the school but on the same time the one who know how to enjoy her life away. A good enjoyment that's it. I just need a god damned break. Someone would you give it to me ? The key to all stress free? If anyone happen to have it all , the laughter , the smiles , the touch of ease, do contact me asap , ja ? Man, I sound desperate.
HE IS EXTRAORDINARY !! - who could actually sing , act and be hot and handsome at the same time ? Wentworth miller !
... need a break? Have a Kit Kat , - if only Life is that simple
