Thursday, May 10, 2007
I was changin' angel's outfit when she asked me, where's her underwear ? Awwwwwwwww. How big can my angel be ? Awww. I wore her , her favourite purple dress; how I know it's her favourite ? She pick the dress on her own ! GOD! She's is gettin' big, when I slide down her pants, she hold her diaper and asked where's her underwear ? And she continued on sayin'..angel: baby, shame-shame tak ada seluar.
All I could do was stare at her, and beamin' my head off with a huge huge smile. She is really gettin' old and big enough to know the shames. Awwwwwwwww. Angel, pls, do not grow so fast, I wanna spend time when ye are still two and a half. I wanna ye to be a kiddo, still. =((
Went over to Jp;again. To meet mum. She wanna repair her Mather's day present. Which happen to be last year's one. Tsk. Dah nak dekat setahun aru nak betulkan ke bu ?
She explained herself by sayin', she forget totally about the beg. Tsk. Mum, mum. Heh.
Time spent with the ladies of the house was totally paid off. It's been ages since our last small cute-cute outin' to the nearest shoppin' mall. Nevertheless, we enjoy each other company. How do we know ? We were laughin' our ass off with angel's cute and adorable attitude. And Baby sis will always, always make us laugh with her lame yet funny jokes. Mum will always crack joke even though I am in the midst of eatin' my Claypot Prawn Noodle. That will always happen when the 3 of my lovelife and my 3 VIPs go out for a small yet meaningful outing.
We are goin' out AGAIN. YAY! It will be a 3 days straight outin' with my lovelife. Today, tml and Saturday. Tml, mum date me and baby sis to movies, while angel have to stay home. And on saturday, it will be the full force ! Excludin' daddy though. Tsk. Saturday mum date us out again. While dad werkin' his ass off, mum tried to talk dad out to take a day off, but he insits that we adroable, sweet and pretty ladies of his life to have a good and joyful time. Awww. Dad. One heck of a good husband/father.
I just do not know what I will do or be without my lovelife. They are my pillar of strength, my mentor, my loves, my fights, my air. They have taught me everything that I need to know in this bittersweet life of mine. They have always taught me how to be patient and humble with people around me. They are the ones who have show me if the world turn their backs on me, I would back around, and saw them spreadin' their arms wide open to wrap my back closely towards their chest. They are the one I always kiss in the morning, the one that I always hug before I turn in.
Yes, I kiss dad. I kiss mum. I kiss angel. I hug baby sis. Yes. I do it, and still is doin' it. I do not care, where ever I am, with whom, I will always kiss and hugged them whenever I wanna take off. I believe with little affection, it really strengthen our family bondin'. Even though I am a teenage gal, who longs for enjoyment and night life, even though I am a teenager who longs for clubs, fun, outin's and shoppin' with frens, I still do kiss and hug my lovelife even in the middle of orchard road, or over at the airport. Dad does not left out. In fact, he will always be the first I loooked for to kiss and hugged whenever I wanna go off. Yes, I know mum comes first, but dad is the one I looked for to give little affection. Why ? Because I do not talked to dad bout my private lifes, it was not to dad that I cried my heart out when I suffered any problems. It was not dad that I turned too when I could not sleep at night. It was not dad that I laughed and joked with everynight. It was mum all the while. Hence, to show my love and affection, dad will always be the one I look for to express my love.
Mum is much more then just a wonderful and patient mather to me. She is a fren, best best best and elite fren that I could ever asked for. She is a strong and witty woman that I know and will always respect. Yes, I have hurt her times and again. I have make her cried more then 5 times. Yes, believe me when I say this. It was me who make her cried all night long. It was me who make her shout at one in the morning. It was me who make her speak those vulgarties to the extend that she slaps me for makin' her say those sinful words. Yes, I was a very inhuman girl before. I have went out of the house without her knowin' and returned home at one to two am in the morning. I have make her cried till she was dearly sick. Finally, I come to my sense. I prayed one day and I cried dearly in my doa. I cried whole heartedly that I slept with my tudung on my tikah solat. That night, I vow to myself, I should and must changed to make a better human being and better laydee. Cause I know, makin' mum cried is the worse sin ever. I went over to mum and appologies sincerely. I hugged her and I seek her forgiveness, I cried in between my long tears. And she too, hugged me. She promised to give me a hand to walked the right path in life. Thus, after that episode, it came down prefectly well. We do have smalls fights and little argument, but mints later, we are all laughin' and jokin' around. I love her dearly and she too love me. I know, I can sense it every morning when I kiss her and she hugged me.
I wanna be a better child for my parents. I wanna be a better sister for my two pretty sisters. I wanna be a better muslimah for the love for Islam. I wanna be a better human being for me. Called me a fucked up girl who does not know and appreciate mather's love. I would smile and be quiet, cause that was my past. Nevertheless, I have learnt my huge lesson and I am tryin' my best to be the best that I can be. I wanna be the elite in my family. I wanna make my mum strutted around because of me. I want every happiness that my family feel causes by me. I want it to be me all the long. I want it to be me. Always. As I know, I have done a graveful mistake, and I wanna take it all back, and locked it and throw the key in the crashin' ocean.
Matter of fact, I am changin'. Mum no longer cry because of me. How do I know ? She told me. Every now and again, I would have a heart to heart talk with her. I would held her hands whenever we have long walks around orchard or just a small trip over the mall. I would lay my head on her lap even in front of my cousin and relatives. That's how we keep each other love burnin' inside. I have changed. Before, I never ever do that. I would push her hands away when she tried to held my hands in the public. Now, it was ME who held her hands. And I want my sister to have the same habit that I do. Talk sweetly and share problem with mum, and kiss and hugged dad to show our love. Yes. I encourage my sisters to do that. And I will guide them to be the right child and the graceful daughters my parents would be proud off.
Mum, I know I have hurt ye thousand of times. With my stubbornnes, with my rotten attitude who only wants to enjoy. But believe me when I say, I have changed. Ye have become my top and outermost piorities. Ye have become the lover of my life. Ye have become my mentor. My strength. My Best Elite fen. Mum, ye know how much I dearly love ye after how much ye suffered cause of me. Believe me mum, give me a chance to prove to ye that I am the child that ye will love and be proud of one day. Believe and love me for when I say, I would shower ye with love, affection, care, when ye are old. Believe and love me when I say, I would be there whenever ye are sick or healthy. Mum. Ye are my soul. My love. And no one can take it away from me. Mum. I love ye. And I promised ye, ye will touch the Forbidden City with dad , one day. I promise.
... for those who have hurt yeer mum/dad along the way, do turn back and hugged and show them love, for when they are gone, only Allah knows how weak and hurt ye will be.
