Sunday, March 25, 2007
How remarkable when someone ye have not met really rings a bell in yeer head. How remarkable when someone's encouragement really wake ye up from a comfortable yet horrifin' dreams.All my life, I dare say, I was and still IS an ego lady. I will do drastic measure just to make my heart go happy and jump for sweet yet bitter joy. I will curse and mock that victim like there's no God that will showered him/her the suitable lesson. It's such a horrible feeling. It really make me look like a Loser, which I really hate it. ALOT.
I have such wonderful friends around me that never fails to put up with my tantrums, cruse, mockin' and ego. I wonder, how could this wonderful people stood up by me all the time and never fails to be there for me when I was really really mad. How ? If I were them, I would just ignore a person like me, and better off with a fren that is never filled with ego. Specially shakinah, how could she been there for me every night when I'm angry, how could she hug me every morning and say '' Ye are my sister '' when I'm the way I am now. How could she tolerant my nonsense every week when I'm throwin' tantrums. Now, that's what ye people call, true fren.
Relationship have really thought me alot. Alot. NO EGO! NO EGO! NO EGO! Must be involve. No. Never. Learn from my mistake, and hopefully, I shall not repeat it, again. Yes Dan, now, I finally understand when ye said, ye had enuff. Ye ought to be off with better girls. Yes Dan, now, I'm movin' on as I want to start afresh with myself, and find the right path to go. Yes Dan, I have been egoist all this while haven't I ? Ye should have curse me, ye should have scold me all this while. I know my mistake. How I wish I could amend all that. I know I can, but I can't do it to ye. I know ye had enuff of my shits. I just know it today. And, thanks for puttin' up on all my shits and nonsense, all this while. I will still continue to block ye, so that we could focus on our lives and not to tink of the past. I will continue not talkin' to ye, untill I finally changed myself. I do not want because of my mockin's and shits that put ye into a state that ye hate our frenship. I shall try my best to put ends to all of my hopes. I shall forget the things ye told me the other night. I finally learn my lesson, after so long. Thank ye Dan, without this break up, I will sleep with a drastic measure.
Thanks aDeQ, for puttin' up on my nonsense for a WHOLE year. Help me to change me. Thanks for givin' me non stop advice and encourgement. And I trust ye to put my attitude on the line for the better. I own ye big time. And thanks for been there; always.
To sum, I might be talkin' crap. To sum, it are all just words that I put together. To me, No. This are words that put together to form what's in my heart. And thank(s) for all those who make me wake up and learn the most important lesson in a girl's life. I wanna have a balance attitude. No ego, but not to soft. It may takes months, years, or even decade for me to change my usual self. And I am not askin' ye people to tolerant with me. As I know, tolerantin' with me is a horrible dream, plus pain in the arse. I am askin' ye people to disown me, if ye tink I'm over the board, as I know, I ALREADY on the board. So people, tell into my face. As I need a drastic help.
.. w/o ye eros, it wil not ring a bell. A huge thank ye.
